Simple Pleasures to Bring You Joy Today

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by Aimee

If you're new here thanks for stopping by! You may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. I hope you will leave your opinions by commenting. Have a fabulous day! Smiles, Aimee

I am sitting at beach in Del Mar today and enjoying the delicious sound and smells of the ocean. Its chilly but sunny and my soul is filled with happiness as I love being by the ocean. Someday I will live here. For now, I want to share some of the beautiful moments I am pondering that make me smile.

  • Children playing in the sand and water
  • Snuggling in bed
  • Warm shower
  • Morning sunlight
  • Good belly laugh
  • Warm sand under my feet
  • Sound of waves crashing
  • Watching ebb and flow of the ocean
  • A glass of cold water
  • Hugs
  • Loving touch
  • Sleeping in
  • Receiving unexpected money
  • Sharing a smile
  • People watching
  • Smell of fresh bread
  • Clean sheets in a freshly made bed
  • Beautiful views
  • Sharing memories with friends
  • Feeling after a rigorous workout
  • Finishing what I start
  • Kissing in the rain
  • Watching the sunset
  • Smell of fresh cookies
  • Late night swim
  • Floating
  • Smell of flowers
  • Bright colors in landscape
  • Watching wedding on the bluff
  • Seeing  people share loving moments
  • Little boys learning to surf from their dad

What others do you have?

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Remembering: Life Lessons from Mom

lessons from mom Hula

by Aimee

Today is a day to honor our mothers. Well, everyday is for that as we told in the bible but for some reason we wait till the commercial day to think creatively about what can we do to tell them we care or are thinking of them. Its the reality of life and until we do something different and show our mom’s that they are are uniquely special the tradition will continue.  My mother lives 1000 miles away so I won’t be seeing her today but send my love and big hugs until I see her next!

As a child and as an adult, I started to think today about all the valuable lessons from “Mom” that have shaped the women I am today. Hope these may be a small reminder or inspiration to add your own lessons to a few of mine!  I love you mom!

How to Love

The more you give love, even when not returned the more you have to give. My mom gave of herself over and over to help others in church, groups and took long phone calls to help a friend.  She can listen and listen some more. She has friends young and old who call with their challenges with husbands, friends, children, horses (she loves this), boyfriends, commitments amongst other topics.  She is so giving that the people around her have always brought tokens of thanks and shown love for her when I would hear the story of how they met and what their relationship was.  Take time everyday to show you love and care. Don’t be too busy for that!

Make friends and keep them for Life

In my experience I have had friends come and go based on stage of life and what is going on at that time. However, it marvels to me that my mom has life long friends since highschool that they still talk, meet up when they can and share the family stores. That is tough to do!  I am terrible at keeping in touch through transitions and want to stay connected with the wonderful people that have been part of life. See out those friendships that you can continue to grow and journey through all the ages and stages of life together. Take a moment for your friends. Friendship like this is a huge blessing!

How to Forgive

One of the memorable days was when I was probably in 4th or 5th grade, my mom and dad had a fight and she stormed out and was supposed to be taking us somewhere fun. The whole energy in car was bad as we drove off. It was after driving a couple of blocks and she turned around to go home to resolve the argument that I remember. She went in the house and they talked for a few minutes and resolved the anger. Then we left again and she talked me through the proverb about never going to sleep angry. Be quick to forgive and resolve contention. Learn to forgive quickly and often.

Life is not Fair, Deal with it

Now that I am an adult, I am glad for this lesson but there were many days that I didn’t feel this way!  She intentionally would give different amounts of cookies to my brother, sister and I. Now you may gasp at this, my friends have it was a small lesson communicated this way and other ways that we would not be given equality in life just for being me.  We like to think its all that takes and we should be given all the opportunities anyone else has.  It would switch between us, but bottom line was that was life so learn to negotiate through it and deal with it. Sometimes you can make another choice or you choose to move on.  I was managing employees when I met many adults that even at any age still strive to live like life should be fair and equitable. Its far from that, and it does make a difference especially in the workplace on what value you bring, skills you cultivate, how you work with others and what you produce.  There is always differentiation and you need to acknowledge it and work to do what you want. Don’t waste time waiting to be dealt a hand you may or many not want. Life is not fair, deal with it and move on!

Never give up

My mom is tough. I could share many stories when she has fought through all odds to show what a remarkable women she is. Whether in loving people who are hard to love, starting and moving a business over and over when our family moved, or fighting to recover from debilitating injuries.  When you want to heal, love, grow, and stretch take a step forward. Than take another step forward. It might hurt. Take another step and never give up.  This was seen for me in physical reality when I learned she was kicked at a horse event and shattered her left side. After doctors reconstructed titanium the bone would reform around it, she was so committed to walking, doing work needed and getting back on a horse it angered me. I didn’t want to see more pain, but she can sit idle and was going to push through the pain and therapy to get her motion and strength back. It was tough to watch, it was a long recovery but she cried through and pushed through it till she could do the activities she loved to do. Her physical body will never be the same but she is able to do most everything and continues to push forward and never give up despite the setbacks along the way. Never give up! She would give her life for me.  I went through a tought time and learned I had major tumors. They were growing fast and causing other complications so I was quickly scheduled for surgery.  I was scared. Not comfortable going under a knife and being told how big of a cut they would make and would have to wait for the tests to see the outcome. All the feelings rushing through me were confusing and tough to handle.  My mom drops everything and comes to town and patiently deals with me and my ups and downs before and after surgery. Laying on that gurney, as they were taking me away she says “I wish I could be the one and take your place” and that still is in my memory. I know my mom loves me, but when the pain is excrutiating and she would take my place leaves a stamp in my heart. It is like a lesson God wants us to intimately know and tries to show us over and over through the bible. For me hearing, knowing and then feeling the magnitude of that makes a difference. There are many days, our  conversations are not loving or we argue about something but that is stress of life and communication. Your mom loves you deeply and sacrificed over and over for you.

You will only regret the chances you don’t take

My mom fell in love young and married young. She gave her life to raising kids and delaying other chances.  She wanted us to learn we could do anything, learn anything, and continued to encourage us to try anything and everything we were interested in. Between my brother, sister and I there were singing lessongs, many kinds of dance lessons, accordian, piano, basketball, softball, football, tennis, art lessons, knitting, cooking, working different jobs, amongst many others. She chose to provide us the chance to figure out what we loved and hated, what we wanted to continue to learn more about. There wasn’t money but she was creative about bartering her abilities with other parents that could teach us things. She took chances and only rule was we finished what we started for that class, season and could not quit part way through. Some I learned I loved like soccer and basketball and played year after year until I got into boys and needing money to drive.  Its an important lesson, that as an adult I still try many new things and see what I get into. Lately, my lessons are kayaking and photography but continue to try other activities like paddle boarding and even hangliding which turned out not to be for me.  Take the chance, just do it is a huge principle I keep through making decisions when fear might otherwise stop me in my tracks.   Take the chance, you will only regret the chances that you don’t take.

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The Journey to Finding the Courage to be You

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by Aimee

Strength, Courage & Confidence
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

In looking for why do I plan and replan constantly and then find myself doing the same thing. Why do I go into new situations and think I will be best self and default to safe self?  Who do I not always act with the love I want to show?  Why do I go for the easy way and not the challenge?  You may never have this challenge but one I have spent time diving into and its a learning process requiring emotional diving. The quote from Eleanor Roosevelt is powerful, “You must do what you think you cannot do”.  Not the way I have been living.  So how do I live that way?  Not an easy question for me right now.

Courage is from the Heart

The very word “courage” comes from the heart. Coeur is the French word for heart. It’s important to remember that this isn’t stuff that comes from the brain, it also comes from the gut. I can’t always make a list to convince myself and then still follow through. Its most often a heart decision or a decision from the gut that overrules the brain. I am in control of my life and my experiences. I become more secure when I do something that is tough and am successful.

Learning to travel solo was something has become easy and even more enjoyable than taking a friend who may not be comfortable with cultural unknown. I gain when I am writing and exploring my feelings. I gain when I have wonderful experiences and learn new things. I gain when I have meaningful conversations and not talk about mundane. I gain when I make a decision on faith and keep stepping forward. I end up in a better place. I am blessed.

What can you do to find your Inner Courage?

So what about you – what would you do IF you weren’t afraid of failing, looking foolish, having an awkward confrontation, feeling inadequate or of what people might say? Whether in your relationships, your career, your community or in you life in general, your life is waiting for you to reclaim the power that your doubts and fears have been wielding and begin living it more purposefully and more courageously.
  1. Write down the desires of your heart. Is it coming to fruition in your life or are you at the same place when you recognized the desire that you had?
  2. Review them and prioritize the list of desires.
  3. Then take the first one on your list and make a list for 10 minutes of everything you are afraid of happening.
  4. Now move to make a list of everything that would be different in your life if that was to come true for you. Make a list of how you would feel, behave, act as if that had been accomplished.
  5. Now review what came out from your brainstorm and resolve that the feelings and results are so much better experiences than anything that may hold you back. Determine what kind of time, money, relationships you will need to pull you forward to your desire. Now start today by taking a step forward.

If you still are feeling stuck, then think about how you can lower the amount of fear or increase your personal power or support systems. When you have the desire, there is always some level of fear opposing it.

Failure is Not an Option

The classic example is when Eugene Kranz said, “Failure is not an option” when bringing home Apollo 13. He was confident because he had enough experience and they could make it happen. He knew the staffing down there in Houston; he knew all the moving parts. And by looking at his resources and relying on his prior experience and missions, he could draw the concrete assessment that the mission would successfully return to Earth. Do you live life with the attitude of ”try” or “failure is not an option?  I am facing reality that I half do things and don’t fully commit.

One small action on another, properly directed, will dramatically change your life if you just keep doing it.

Action speaks loudest in this world. You will become whatever you do, and you can do it a bit at a time.

Trust yourself when it comes to the big decisions. True courage leads to true empowerment.

Go after what you want. Keep moving forward.

You must do the thing you think you cannot do TODAY.

Be Yourself.

“Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to the end, requires some of the same courage which a soldier needs.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Courage Is Lyrics

by The Strange Familiar

Take all my viscous words and turn them into something good
Take all my preconceptions and let the truth be understood
Take all my prized possessions and leave only what I need
Take all my pieces of doubt and let me be what’s underneath
Courage is when you’re afraid but you keep on moving anyway
Courage is when you’re in pain but you keep on living anyway
We all have excuses why living in fear something in us dies
Like a bird with broken wings, its not how high he flies but the song he sings
Courage is when you’re afraid but you keep on moving anyway
Courage is when you’re in pain but you keep on living anyway
keep on living anyway
It’s not how many times you’ve been knocked down
It’s how many times you get back up
Courage is when you’ve lost your way but you found your strength anyway
Courage is when you’re afraid
Courage is when it all seems grey
Courage is when you make a change and you keep on living anyway
You keep on moving anyway
You keep on giving anyway
You keep on loving anyway

Photo Credit: Brandydarling

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How to express difficult emotions when you care

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by Aimee

Have you been in that conversation, where your gut is telling you to say something but fear of the other person’s response makes you hold your comments?   Each day you experience many emotions – love, anger, frustration, anxiety, fear, hate, jealousy, irritation, tenderness, and all the rest.  How do you cope with these feelings productively and express them to others?

Even when the worst is over, the nature of emotion is that it can creep up and take over at unexpected, and often inconvenient times.  Bitterness, shame, self-hatred, jealousy, anger.   All of it is a part of the human emotional ranges in painful situations. Learning how to express your feelings appropriately and constructively is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself.

How does keeping feelings unexpressed hold you back?

Most people tend to deny their thoughts and feelings and hide them because they are afraid that their mate and loved ones won’t love them anymore. They are afraid that no one would love or care for the “real person” that they are inside. Common mistakes are:

1. The nonverbal body language contradicting your words.
2. Not expressing a feeling at all, expressing a belief or judgment.
3. Only expressing negative feelings rather than acknowledging good and bad.

Now, it’s not that you should let these emotions rule your life. But if you try to push them down, then the creative energy that is meant to propel your life forward, is actually working so hard at repressing these emotions that its ability to help you is limited.

Making connections

An expression of warmth toward another person almost always brings a response of acceptance, trust, and the desire for a closer relationship.  Sharing feelings of warmth is a powerful tool in building and maintaining friendships.  A climate of acceptance is fostered by the sincere expression of honest feelings. Many people, however, have trouble verbalizing their feelings. Fully expressing  yourself brings authenticity and deeper connection in your life.  This creates more positive feelings.

Small children still have a magic way to express love and feelings. Adults should learn from the children as a model of demonstrating how to feel in the best possible way. Children smile EYES to eyes from the bottom of their heart. Children never ask questions”why”. Children hug, kiss, and caress you. Children accept your love. Children accept all love even if they were otherwise hurt. Children love to show they are sorry through actions.

This how to authentically show your unfiltered emotions to those you care about.  Show your pure love through long hugs, authentic connections and sharing how you feel with others.  Its love in a practical way.  I’ve found that being authentic is just so much easier and gets me much better results than acting in accordance with how I think others want me to act.  Emotion is energy and people around you will sense the difference in you.

2 Techniques for Expressing Feelings

Use an “I feel” statements and “I messages” will help you put your feelings in a way to say them in a productive way. Being able to be clear with how you say them will allow the person listening to know what you mean and not feel attacked or fester into a bigger problem. It will increase the likelihood of them listening.

I Feel Statements

These statements take the form of “When you did that thing I felt this way. That thing is a behavior of the other person, and this way is

your specific feelings. Here are some examples:
“I felt embarrassed when you told our friends how we I responded when upset”
“I liked it when you helped with the dishes without being asked.”
“I feel hurt and am disappointed that you forgot my birthday”

I Messages

It is called an I message because the focus is on you, and the message is about yourself. When using I messages you take responsibility for your own feelings, rather than having the other person feel like they caused you to feel a certain way. The essence of an I message is “I have a problem”, while the essence of a You message is “You have a problem”.

There are four parts to an I message:

1. When … Describe the person’s behavior you are reacting to in a non-judgmental manner.
2. The effects are … Describe the tangible effects of that behavior.
3. I feel … Say how you feel. This is the most important part to prevent a buildup of feelings
4. I’d prefer … Tell the person what you want or what you prefer they do or talk about alternatives

Practical Ways to practice expressing your feelings

Practice these techniques and turn them into useful skills.   Make it easy for yourself to spontaneously express difficult feelings in a manner that is productive and respectful.  Verbally or physically expression of feelings can be awkward and uncomfortable at first but if you just do what is comfortable for you and just say what you feel you will find things will get easier with time. Its always nerve wrecking to put yourself out there when your not sure of the reaction it can make us hold it in.

  • Talk with a close friend, family member or spouse.
  • Keep a journal of your feelings.
  • Join a support group.
  • Write letters.
  • Talk with a counselor or a religious or spiritual advisor.
  • Put your feelings on a tape recorder.
  • Express your feelings through music, dance or exercise.
  • Express your feelings through art.

Your emotions provide a vital source of information, about you, and for you. The information tells you what you need in order to be happy, healthy, and successful in your life.  Without access to this information, using this information you will feel stuck without navigational system to find your way back home. What other ways have you used in difficult situations?

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Ready for Take-off? How to Break Out of your Comfort Zone

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by Aimee

Stops in the Journey

I have often found that a person’s journey through life is much like that of a sailor at sea. There are long periods of time where the ocean is calm, and serenity surrounds you and even perhaps giving into the feelings of boredom and monotony. Suddenly then the winds may shift, a
wave goes by and you can find yourself in a storm feeling so uncertain of what may happen. Such experiences are exciting, terrifying, and perhaps journey of life itself.

Calm before the Storm

Ever feel that you are on cruising along the flat water? Just going along without conscious awareness of what may happen, feeling that life is good but what now???? What else do I want to learn and do? This comes in cycles from new passions and projects and then they become routine and I need new excitement, adrenaline for work and fun.

I love my work, it keeps me interested and with new challenges frequently to work with team to create solutions. I am good at it and leading teams to accomplish what they don’t think they can. Oh, but I admit that always want more. I constantly think about how to change things or what will I take on new so I am learning.

It is usually called being in your comfort zone or groove or happy place. Comfort makes me think of a Lazy boy chair, but I don’t like the analogy as its great if I want to sit around but that is definately not what I choose to do. It makes me anxious and alarmed to even think about having same kind of work to do for long and am antsy and feeling like I need out fast!

Traps of your comfort zone

There are two types of comfort zone traps:
1. Being in a situation and feeling so comfortable that you take no risk even though you want a change from current
2. Entering a new situation and feeling comfortable because you understand how to be you and want to fully experience something different

Have you ever been in a situation where you were sooooo comfortable? I feel this hanging around with old friends who know me well and in different situations, or family who can just laugh together and at each other with love be my completely stupid self. I totally feel at ease in that moment, and what I wear, say and do just doesn’t matter. I know they don’t mind or we might have a good debate or discussion (Isn’t that fun?). So what would it take to go to a new group, class, etc and feel that same way of calm if a situation you have no idea who will be there or what might happen? You might just have one of the greatest times if you put yourself in the frame of mind and eagerly anticipate event or experience just as much as you do with good friends and family.

Take The First Step

If you’re looking to change your life all you must do is take the first step. The path won’t always be smooth, but it’s better than doing nothing and sitting on your ass or keep saying nothing is different and your actions are the same day in and out. If you want to run a race you have to start with the first step, the first block, the first lap, the first mile and keep building on it. If you want to meet an important person, than you keep trying to connect with others you know, they refer you, and you keep asking good questions and sharing yourself with others till you meet that person. Take the first step, since then you are in motion towards the next one. Then take another one.

Rethinking the Norms

I invite you to think about how you do things. Think about how making the leap to doing some things differently will open life up your life to new perspectives, renewed energy, different opportunities and awareness! So take a moment and think about these things

What is your morning routine?
Is there another route you take to\from work each morning?
How do you make your coffee, tea, shake in morning?
What will happen if you lead next meeting differently?
Where you have lunch?
Which pant leg do you put on first?
what do you put and not put in your daily schedule?
What do you say when you answer the phone?
Your email signature?
The website you get your news from?
what you do after work?
Your mobile ringtones?
What kind of books you read?
Who you plan to meet or not meet socially on friday night?
The radio station you listen to
What else can you change and do differently?

My Irrational mind

This irrational, emotional part of me believed that if I remained in my comfort zone, then maybe I could somehow prevent whatever change was looming ahead from actually happening and in some areas it keeps me stuck and frustrated. I somehow had those moments when I thought I could somehow remain safe and cocooned with no pain or hurt. Sometimes there is regret or failure or disappointment no matter how much the choice might have seemed safe at the time it was made. Sometimes things happen that are unpredictable. You can’t ever be totally ready for any situation, and with changes you might feel ready but sometimes you never really are.

Making sense of change

Now, I realize that I don’t have to associate it with failure or uncertainty but opportunity. My greatest learning has come from a change I was not prepared for. It caused me to think and rethink and reframe how I thought and felt. I pushed through the fear. And sometimes it zaps me so I withdraw to process all the racing feelings of discomfort and excitement.

Change is inevitable. The only thing that I know will always happen in relationships, work, opinions, thoughts. Change can be difficult. Change can be fun. Change can challenge to to become your
better self. The best things are worth the risk.

Don’t sit and wait.
Don’t get comfortable.
Don’t spend life wondering.

The truth is that life is unpredictable so make the effort to take the first step, then the second, until you can see the big impact and then feel it as you make it happen. Enjoy the experience, challenge your self to grow and leave your ideas below to help others.

“Life is an adventure, dare it.” – Mother Theresa

Photo Credit: John-Morgan

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How Can Life Be More Beautiful? Simple Secret to More Love Everyday

February 14, 2010

Reflections of love

“Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.”  -Byron Katie

Do you think of yourself when you hear someone gushing about their new romance?  How do you feel? Being in love brings a glow and energy that is unique to you!  Maintaining that feeling without the other person feeding [...]

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7 Ways to Unblock Your Path to Trust

February 8, 2010
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“The inability to open up to hope is what blocks trust, and blocked trust is the reason for blighted dreams.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

What I learned about trust while learning to Scuba dive

When I signed up for a friend to take a scuba diving certification class in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico  I was excited and worried.  My [...]

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Take the danger out of travelling with 7 simple and smart safety tips

February 5, 2010

I recently came back from Costa Rica after a fabulous few weeks. I will share more good in a upcoming post,  but want to share some street smart tips for travelling. At the end of my trip, I had the first experience of having my day pack stolen. It all ended well, after a day [...]

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5 Lessons from “So Small” by Carrie Underwood

February 1, 2010

There are so many opportunities that can inspire us.  I was listening to this song and see a few parallels both with my  purpose and the emotions which ebb and flow each day as I do things I love and things I don’t enjoy. Some of the ideas that are really simple but so important [...]

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Is your personal foundation solid? 10 ways to evaluate your total support system

January 25, 2010

I am stopping to take time this week to make sure my foundations around me are as strong as can be and support me as I accelerate the steps in journey. I am so excited about some of the projects but now have to focus on them.
How to check your personal foundation out and make [...]

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